About PersephoneK

PersephoneK writes about anything and everything that moves her, but usually she can be found skeptically discussing Liberty, Atheism/Agnosticism/Christian Apostasy, Workplace/Government reform, poker, history, politics, economics, science, sports, movies, music, television, and pop culture. Pretty much anything that crosses her mind is free game. She loves heated debate, has thoughts, and want to share them with you.

Author Archive | PersephoneK

National Conversation on Drugs Misses the Boat

I can honestly say I never thought I’d write a post inspired by Whitney Houston, but her death is connected to an issue of interest to me, namely the ineffective and unconstitutional “war on drugs” and how the conversation about the topic seems to always miss the boat.

Houston’s death was a sad event, but completely predictable.  She was a woman of immense talent, plagued by personal demons she was never able to slay.  I am truly sorry for that, and wish my deepest sympathy to her family, friends and fans.  But if anything good can come of her death, and the timing coinciding with music’s biggest day of the year — the Grammy’s — I hope its that it changes the tone and content of the conversation about drugs in this country.

When people debate drugs, they typically fall into one of two camps.  There are those who want to legislate our vices and criminalize (some of) our self-destructive behaviors, and there are others who think anything should go, do whatever feels good.  Predictably the former group tends to fall on the conservative end of the political spectrum while the latter falls on the liberal end.  I’m tired of predictable conversation.  Can’t we just get real?  Can’t we talk about every aspect of this topic, uncomfortable though some of it might be, without demonizing each other?

On the right, anyone who wants to legalize drugs is immoral, immature, not serious, or just wants to destroy themselves.  From the left, anyone who wants to keep drugs out of the hands of addictive personalities like Houston, must be a close-minded, Puritan square.

I personally feel that there needs to be a more nuanced debate on the topic, because as I see it, the issue inhabits a murky middle ground that we rarely hear about in today’s media.  Sure, when someone like Houston dies, likely as a result of her long and public drug use, there are cries of how tragic it is.  In the last several years, I have seen more public discussion of addiction being a medical problem rather than a criminal problem, but that rarely takes the discussion as far as it needs to go.

As I see it, we need to simultaneously legalize all drugs, but also stigmatize their abuse (note I didn’t write their “use”).

Let me be clear: My stance is that all drugs should be legal for adults to purchase on a relatively free-market (I’m ok with some control over where you can purchase them, like in a liquor store to keep them away from children, and ok with some warning labels).  The primary principal that governs most of my views on most subjects is that the government should interfere in our lives at the absolute minimum level.  Personal liberty should be the paramount guideline, and laws that infringe on any personal liberty choices among consenting adults should be the grave exception, not the rule.  The government exists to help us settle disputes when someone tries to take or destroy our property and lives, but it doesn’t exist to help us not destroy our own lives.  We have the right to do so at our own peril.

Freedom is an amazing gift from our Creator (whether that is god or your parents), but it can also be ugly and painful.  The Founding Fathers were clear: We have the right to Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.  Any infringement on that right must be profoundly justified.  How can making some drugs illegal, while legalizing others (some of which are more dangerous than the illegal ones) in any way conform to that principal?  The drugs that are legal in America (alcohol, caffeine, and tobacco) were saved from the black list because they have been around longer, or had been more widely used throughout history, and are therefore more entrenched in our culture, not necessarily because of their danger levels.  Its politics and hypocrisy at their highest levels.

Not that it matters to me if they are highly destructive.  At least, I don’t care to use that as an excuse to infringe on personal liberty.  How destructive something is that I consume, and do not force anyone else to consume, should have no bearing on its legal status.  I do think destructiveness is a very good reason not to take most drugs, especially narcotics and the like.  The argument that drugs lead to the downfall of society, lead to early death, lead to the destruction of the American family, etc etc… I honestly don’t dispute much of that perspective.  Its hard to argue against.  As painfully evidenced by Houston’s death, drugs can kill you, and ruin your life along the way to the end.

Habitually using most drugs is usually a very bad choice.  Its a choice you should be free to make for yourself.

Here’s an even more obvious statement: The more addictive and dangerous (i.e. can kill you more quickly) the drug, the worse choice it is.  You can ruin not only your life, but the life of your family, you can hurt your friends who suffer by watching you destroy yourself, and if you drive a car, you can kill yourself or others.  There are many ways to do all of those things.  Putting all drugs into one category of “evil” is just wrong.  If all drugs were the same, caffeine, alcohol and tobacco would probably be illegal like the rest of the recreational drug group. For that matter, maybe chocolate should be illegal, since it has caffeine and leads to an endorphin rush.  Clearly, we all know there are differences in drugs, though the “war on drugs” may have made it much harder for us to know what those differences are since scientific study of many “hard” drugs is nearly impossible.  All that said, not all who try drugs become habitual users, or addicted, or ruin their lives.  Even if they did, its irrelevant to my point.  People need to be left to make choices for themselves, come what may.

Granting adults the right to choose what they ingest, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t pressure people to stay away from that lifestyle.  Experimenting with marijuana (I’ll save the “gateway drug” discussion for another time), and trying cocaine are very different things. [In the interest in full disclosure, I have never tried any illegal drug, and very few legal drugs for that matter.  Despite believing people should be able to light up a doobie pretty much whenever they want, its currently illegal and I tried to adhere to the laws of the land.] We should discourage anyone from ever trying narcotics, heroin, and other drugs that fall into the highly addictive, highly destructive, can kill you even on your first try category.  But should we ruin the lives of people who smoke marijuana in their own homes?  I can’t claim ownership of this fantastic illustrative example, but have seen it often cited: Imagine if Presidents Obama, Bush, or Clinton — all have admitted to smoking marijuana — had been arrested trying something generally less dangerous than alcohol?  Its likely that their political careers would have ended before they began if they’d had criminal records.  Would that have made sense?  Regardless of your political persuasion, its clear that the only difference is that they were never caught.

And that is the missed boat I mentioned earlier… the one we seem to miss in public discourse over whether or not to make drugs legal.  Just because we decide to make something legal doesn’t mean we have to condone it, or condone every aspect of it.  But neither does it mean we have to demonize every aspect of it.  With personal liberty, people are allowed to make their own way in the world.  That is the very core of what it means to live in a free society.  And when people make mistakes, the default reaction shouldn’t be to throw them in jail.  We all have demons to battle, and so long as my demons don’t convince me to hurt you, or steal your stuff, the best way to help me fight most of them them is through medical treatment, therapy, compassion, and friendship.

Its clear putting users in prison, jail, or even just fining them, thus stigmatizing them isn’t solving the problem of addiction.  Its also led to the rise of Mexican, Central and South American drug cartels, inner city gang violence, and inflating the prices of drugs addicts will find a way to get no matter what.

Trying to legislate our vices is not only wrong in my view, but it just doesn’t work.  If lying were illegal (not including those Martha Stewart type lies people sometimes tell to law enforcement), would the fear of going to jail end our propensity to lie?  I think its fair to say that’s a big fat NO.  But I think most people would agree that lying is usually best avoided.  It destroys our relationships and reputations.  Some people are habitual liars, while others manage to be mostly honest.  Can the liars change?  I think they can if they want to, but not by being sent to prison where their reputations would be further sullied to an irreparable level.

Even if the fear of prison could keep us from lying, or eating doughnuts, or enjoying a few glasses of wine, or eating chocolate, should the government have the right to take our liberty away for indulging in activities that are inherently our personal business?  I believe the answer is no for the same reason I feel its no regarding drugs.

Like I said, personal liberty can be a messy thing.  That is life.  With the good, there can always be bad.  It is my unalienable right to decide how to maneuver through the mess, and it is the government’s responsibility to stand aside as I do so.

Where am I going wrong and what did I miss?  Lets discuss!

Cheers,

PersephoneK

 

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PersephoneK Blog Migration Complete!

I’ve finished migrating all of my content from my old site, www.underworldgoddess.com to this new one.  Tell your friends, and come back here from now on!

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The Antisocial Myth

[This post was originally published on my old blog site, underworldgoddess.com.  I hope you find it well here.  The published date here reflects the original publication date].

In an interesting article I read today at ScientificAmerican.com, Susan Cain, promoting her new book “The Power of Introverts: A Manifesto for Quiet Brilliance”, responds to questions about introversion.  I’m looking forward to reading the book itself, since as in an introvert, I’ve always found the topic compelling, especially in the past couple of years.  I’ve read several books about the difference between introverts and extroverts, but it wasn’t until reading “Introvert Power” by Dr. Laurie Helgoe last year that I finally embraced introversion as a significant part of who I am, and even understood that it can actually be a strength.

As discussed in both the Q&A with Cain, and in Helgoe’s book, introversion is a personality trait, but it is not the same thing as shyness – a common misconception.  One can be both introverted and shy, or extroverted and shy, or introverted and not shy.  Cain touches on it in the article, but Helgoe goes into detail on how the brain chemistry is actually different in introverts and extroverts.  Introverts are naturally more stimulated and therefore tend to prefer solitude to recharge; whereas extroverts are naturally under stimulated and so to make up the difference, they tend to like lots of social interactions, busy settings.  Introverts think before they speak; extroverts think as they speak.

This was a Eureka! moment for me.  Learning that my brain chemistry is actually different than my hyper extroverted friend made so much sense.  I wasn’t defective.  I was exactly who I was supposed to be.

The misconception is that introverts are antisocial.  For years, I used this stereotype as a shield of self-deprecation.  I would openly say “I’m antisocial” to people when the last thing I wanted to do was go out for happy hour after work.  I started to buy into it myself. But it’s not true.  I love people.  One of my favorite things to do in the world is sit with a couple of close friends for hours and talk about life, debate religion or politics, dish about a favorite book or TV show – the good stuff.

I’ve always hated small talk at parties. I find it mind numbingly boring.  Who cares about the weather when you can talk about the things that actually enrich our lives?  It doesn’t always have to be serious subject matter.  I could have a pretty intense conversation about zombies or Smurfs, but that’s no chit chat.  Those conversations involve creativity and problem-solving.  Juicy “what-if” scenarios.  I love talking about that stuff with people I care about.  I just don’t like doing it 100% of the time.  I need time to think about what my friends tell me on my own.  I need a chance to ponder the meaning of life in peaceful bliss – at home, a cozy coffee shop, by the lake on a beautiful summer day.  I like to soak in my surroundings.  Absorb.  Regenerate my thoughts so I can devote attention to another friend on another day.

After reading Helgoe’s book, I realized calling myself anti-social was a disservice to myself.  I misled my extroverted friends, and made it harder for my introverted friends to be themselves.  After that revelation, I vowed to stop.  I began being more open about what I actually wanted to do, and why.

“Are you coming to happy hour tonight?”

“No thank you.  I feel like throwing on my jammies, opening the book I’m halfway through, and snuggling with my cat.”

Occasionally, this honesty causes a few off guard dazed blinks.  I just say “have fun” and be on my way.  It’s so much easier than making up some socially acceptable excuse.  People don’t believe them anyway, and I feel disgusting having used a line.

There are still times when I have to appear more extroverted than I would prefer too.  As Cain points out, we live in an extroverted culture (at least if you live in the US).  There are even times when I embrace a little extroversion and feel perfectly happy in doing so.  But more often than not, I’d rather stay home and get lost in a solitary endeavor, like writing, reading, playing guitar, video games, or taking a long walk in the park.  I refuse to let people make me feel guilty for wanting this time to myself.  If you’re one of the 50% of the total population that is introverted, I hope you’ll make an effort to do the same.  If you’re one of the other 50%, I promise to come to your parties as much as I can cope with it as long as you respect that I’m making the effort because I care about you.  And I expect a quiet cup of hot chocolate and a long conversation in return.

Deal?

-PersephoneK

 

 

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Killing the Procrastination Bug!

[This post was originally published on my old blog site, underworldgoddess.com.  I hope you find it well here.  The published date here reflects the original publication date].

So, one of my New Year’s resolutions was to write or create something every day.  I made it full well knowing I wouldn’t be able to create something every day (stuff at my real job doesn’t count), but I wanted to shoot for it nevertheless.  It didn’t have to be much – a paragraph, a piece of a webpage, a PhotoShop collage.  It didn’t matter what it was, just that I was creating something.

Needless to say, I haven’t lived up to the goal, as you can see from my last post on December 22.

I started this blog because I have a lot to say. I have a SpringPad page full of blog topics as diverse in subject matter as my gap in posting is long.  So what’s the problem?  I’m worried about not really saying what I want to say.  In short, Procrastination.  That’s the crux of my problem.  Sure, laziness is there, too, but if I had to choose one barrier to achieving pretty much all of my goals, but especially creative goals, its procrastination.  They say knowing is half the battle… We’ll see.

Why procrastinate? Simple.  By writing and publishing, it’s out there.  Not just set in stone  More permanent. My ideas, thoughts, ramblings, mistakes will be on the internet pretty much forever. Even stone weathers away eventually, but not the web.  I started my blog because I wanted to share my ideas, and in doing so, I wanted to constantly reshape my own thoughts about a lot of things, ideally through feedback from readers, by mutual enrichment.  This wasn’t about writing the next “Great American Novel.”  This was meant to be more campfire chat.

So, why should I let procrastination impact me at all?   I guess because I still want  everything I write — to sound awesome.  I need to get over that.  I’m going to change my mind.  In fact, I hope I change my mind if it makes sense to do so.  There will be times when I make little sense.  I’m probably never going to sound like Twain or Hemmingway.  I’m not a brilliant thinker; I’m no Einstein, Kierkegaard, Plato, or Socrates.  I don’t have unlimited time to research perfectly before I post.  I may get things wrong and make mistakes (which I hope you’ll call me on), and sound ineloquent.  I may have faulty thinking on a topic, or not think things all the way through.  It’s going to happen (as this post proves).

I’m only human.

But I have things to say, and goals to achieve, and letting procrastination control my life must end. My resolution was to create or write every day, not to be amazing at it.  Not right away.  So, I’m not reading through this one more time (already have twice); I’m just going to post and send this to the ether.  Carpe diem.  It’s only a blog!

Here’s my shot at achieving that resolution, and kicking procrastination’s ass, at least for today.

Cheers,

PersephoneK

 

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Merry Christmas from the Godless Goddess (and What Christmas Means to Me)

[This post was originally published on my old blog site, underworldgoddess.com.  I hope you find it well here.  The published date here reflects the original publication date].

I had hoped to get a few more posts under my belt before diving into this particular subject, but the calendar stops for no one, so I must forge ahead.  I am an atheist.  In some later post, maybe I’ll discuss the irony of this fact considering I have named myself after a Greek goddess.  This blog is not meant to be entirely atheism focused, but it will likely be a significantly discussed topic because it is an important part of who I am.  And in a later post still, I will probably go in depth into why I’m an atheist, and what atheism means to me.  Most people reading this blog who know me personally with a handful of exceptions will likely find this to be shocking news.  I am not widely known to be “out.”  That is also a topic for another time, and the ramifications for announcing that news here will be dealt with later.  Today, I want to focus on what Christmas means to me as an atheist.  To do so I’ll have to touch a smidge on my back story.

I was raised a Protestant Christian, and for a time in my teens, I was deeply committed to pursuing an understanding of God’s truth and following my interpretation of his wishes for how I lived my life.  I was not a fundamentalist.  I didn’t believe in the inerrant Word of the Bible, but I did believe in its essential truth (and Truth), and I think it’s fair to say, I was one of the most religious kids in my class.   And worse, I was a goodie-goodie.  In other words, I was BORING, and way too serious.

In those years, as a Christian raised in Lutheran tradition, but one who hadn’t pledged allegiance to any specific denomination’s dogma, for me Christmas was all about honoring the birth of Jesus Christ.  That might seem like an obvious statement.  Of course, Christmas is about the birth of Jesus Christ.  Everyone knows that.  But at the time, this was the most fundamental principal of Christmas to me.  I didn’t completely divorce myself of secular traditions. I had no beef with most of them provided they didn’t interfere with or pervert the essential Holiness of the holiday.  But in my most religious years, I did start to find the commercialism and consumerism of the season particularly crass.

What offended me more than that, however, was when “lukewarm” Christians, or “Christmas and Easter Christians” decided now was the time to go to church despite not bothering to do so the remaining 50 odd Sundays of the year.  I felt they tarnished the spirit of the season far more than anything else.  They were the group who believed in Jesus, but helped perpetuate the notion that the season is about “Peace on Earth” and “goodwill towards men” above honoring our Lord and Savior, which should always take precedence.    It’s not that I hated the message — I just found it less important than spreading the news that Jesus was born of a virgin named Mary in a manger in Bethlehem surrounded by sheep and goats and visited by three wise men bearing gifts, guided to the birth site by a bright star.

Looking back on my former self, I am saddened for her.

Now, as an atheist who does not believe in the supernatural birth of Jesus, in the Judeo-Christian god, or any gods, I have a love for this holiday season that doesn’t compare to what I used to feel for it.  I’m able to more fully appreciate the secular messages of the holiday, like peace and goodwill.  I live in a northern state in the US, where Christmas usually means a beautiful snowflakes falling to earth on a black night, coating trees in blanket of pure white, and muting sounds in a blissful softness.  I love all of the holiday lights magically dancing and twinkling in the trees and on homes.  I allow myself time to truly appreciate the smells of hot cocoa and apple cider and a roaring fire.  Even the Christmas music (religious and secular) on every overhead speaker, the boughs of holly, the endless loops of “Elf,” “A Christmas Carol,” “It’s a Wonderful Life,” “Rudolph,” and “A Christmas Story” playing on multiple channels, and the kitschy holiday TV specials and homage’s warm my heart.

Some vocal atheists out there are intent on disturbing the holiday to prove various points about separation of church and state, or fairness or whatever the case may be.  I’m sad for them as well.  You can completely remove the religiosity of the holiday (in fact I recommend you do), and it would still be worth preserving.  Even though it is rooted in a myth, it doesn’t change what it is today.  It’s a beautiful time of year when people’s greatest worry is how they can find the perfect gift for people they love.  Is that crass consumerism?

Po-tay-to/po-tah-to.

I know when I shop for gifts, I’m far more concerned with finding something I know my friends and family will love, than I am about how much money Best Buy is making at my expense.  And if that means I have to suffer through stores competing for my attention with crazy advertisements and ridiculous sales, then that is fine to me.  It is that consumerism and commercialism that allows me to live in one of the most prosperous nations the earth has ever known.  It is that prosperity that brings the entire world a little closer to peace and goodwill.  Sure, there may be a tacky fight in the line to get the best deal on Black Friday as a consequence.  But when it comes down to it, I love wishing you all a Merry Christmas.  This year, like all years, I’ll be fortunate enough to spend the day with my family.  We’ll play a game on Christmas Eve that we’re all probably a little tired of, but that we all want to play nevertheless.  We’ll drink some punch, crack some nuts, turn on the Yule Log, eat some wonderful food, go to bed, open presents and bask in each other’s presence and insanity.  It’s going to be the best Christmas ever.   I am alive and well.  My family, even my sister and my nephews will be in town.  Life is good.  I am one lucky human.  There is no better time than Christmas to reflect upon that.  Thank you Jesus!  (Heh!)

I’m so giddy with the holiday spirit that I’m tempted to quote Tiny Tim as well, but instead I’ll simply say have a safe and joyous Christmas, and have a Happy New Year!

~PersephoneK

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Me and a Little Taylor Swift Worship

[This post was originally published on my old blog site, underworldgoddess.com.  I hope you find it well here.  The published date here reflects the original publication date].

So, I know we just met, and this might weed out anyone who bothered to give my first post a chance, but I can’t help it.  I created this blog to post what is on my mind, and who am I to fight it?  So, here goes:

I love Taylor Swift!

Before you ask, no, I am not a teen-aged girl.  In fact, I’m 35 years old.  Still with me?  I realize I’m painting quite a stereotype of myself on our second date.  But I can’t deny it.  Not that I’ve been a closeted fan either.  I wasn’t hiding this from my friends and family.  I wasn’t sneaking hits on the iPod and telling people I was rockin’ to Bruno Mars.  But I wasn’t exactly advertising how closely I was following her either.  I’ve been a fan of Taylor’s since her first single, “Tim McGraw,” which I thought was a lovely and catchy tune, with cleverlyrical twists, especially coming from a 17 year old.

I found her next singles equally as enjoyable and well-written.

Some have criticized her singing ability, and admittedly, that is not her strength, but if you’re focusing on her one flaw (which frankly compared to most humans, is still on the talented side), or mistaking her unbelievable popularity (especially among the aforementioned teen-aged girls) you’re missing the point of what makes Taylor an amazing gift to the songwriting universe.  Simply stated, I would give anything to be able to 1) turn phrases like she can, 2) create enduring, catchy, and sweet tunes, and 3) combine those two together with enough charisma and emotional intelligence to mesmerize and woo an audience.

A couple of Sunday’s ago, 60 Minutes did a great feature story on her that I encourage you to check out.  If it doesn’t make you respect Taylor, nothing will.  One of my favorite quotes comes from a writer at Rolling Stone magazine who (I’m paraphrasing) basically tells us not to let her popularity cloud our judgement that she is an amazing songwriter.  I wholeheartedly concur.  Adults can only dream of having her ability to seemingly effortlessly reach into her own soul — and by extension ours — and plainly, yet poetically say what we’re either feeling, have felt, or dream of feeling.

As a 35 year old who once played a little guitar and even wrote a song or two herself, I have to admit that part of what I love about Taylor is that she is everything I wanted to be  when I was a teenager.  Not what she writes about — I wanted to have the life she achieved.  I dreamt of writing songs, making it in Nashville, and taking the stage night after night, but I didn’t have the drive that Taylor has.  Nor did I have the talent.  So, I live a little vicariously through Miss Swift.  I’m not ashamed of that.  And judging by her final words in the 60 Minutes interview, she’s completely aware of the responsibility to be a good role model to the younger generation of teenagers who worship her.  Taylor, if I may, let me just say you’re a wonderful role model to this “grown-up” as well.  And thank you.

Cheers,

PersephoneK

 

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